


Definition of Irony

by cleverusernameloading



Category: Fantastic Four, Marvel, Spider-Man - All Media Types
Genre: (and actually published), Arachnophobia, Humor, M/M, this is probably the shortest thing I've ever written
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-14
Updated: 2016-06-14
Packaged: 2018-07-15 02:32:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 485
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7202729
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cleverusernameloading/pseuds/cleverusernameloading
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>in which Peter is afraid of spiders</p>
            </blockquote>





	Definition of Irony

**Author's Note:**

> I got into Spideytorch approximately 3 days ago and have not let it go since (like I needed another person to ship Peter with)
> 
> this isn't really set in a specific universe, since A) most of the comics I've read are Ultimateverse, B) my mental Spiderman canon is a wild patchwork of both movie series and at least two comics universes, and C) whenever I'm writing Johnny, I always mentally switch between seeing him as his 616 comics self and seeing him as MBJ (even though I never saw that movie). let's be honest here I'm never going to be able to write for a specific universe

Johnny is just peacefully eating his cereal in the kitchen when Peter starts screaming bloody murder. 

The yelling gives way to muffled cursing, and Johnny stands as quickly as he can without upending the table. “Peter?” he calls, seriously concerned. What if someone found him? No one knows Peter’s identity, right? 

Right? 

There's no reply, so Johnny rushes into the room where Peter is on the ceiling-

Alone?

“Peter?” he repeats, cautiously. There are no immediate threats--that he can see--but Peter is definitely on the ceiling. 

“Ah, nothing to see here?” Peter tries, slowly creeping back down the wall. He's shooting mildly suspicious looks towards the very empty couch. “I was just...startled.”

Johnny raises an eyebrow. “By...what, exactly?”

“Nothing. Nothing. It's all fine, we're all fine here. How are you?” Peter's stopped climbing down, still a couple of feet above the floor.

Johnny looks at the couch, waves his hand above the cushions to ensure there's no one invisible on it. 

Then he spots the spider.

“Peter?”

“Yeah?”

Johnny looks at him, barely managing not to laugh. “Are you scared of spiders?”

“Absolutely not,” Peter says immediately. “It just startled me.”

“You're a terrible liar.” Johnny is trying so hard to keep a straight face. So hard. 

“I'm not scared of spiders.”

“Dude, how do you even maintain a secret identity?”

“Why would  _ I  _ be scared of spiders?”

Johnny finally gives in and laughs. “I don't believe it. You're scared of spiders! You!”

Peter turns bright red. “I-I...I don't know what you're talking about,” he protests.

“I just hope you appreciate the irony of this situation.”

“I didn't know you knew what irony meant,” Peter shoots back, but Johnny isn't going to fall for his attempt to start a tease war, not now.

He manages to stop laughing, with some effort, and decides to finally be a Good Boyfriend. “Do you want me to kill it for you?”

Peter glares at him for a good ten seconds before relenting. “Fine. Okay. Please don't set my couch on fire?”

“I would never,” Johnny assures him. 

“Or that shirt,” Peter adds. “That's my favorite shirt.”

“This is  _ my _ shirt!”

“You borrowed it from me, like, a year ago.”

“Really?”

Peter shrugs. “Yeah.”

Johnny sighs. “Do you want me to kill the scary, scary spider or not?”

Peter shoots him a killer look but doesn't reply.

Johnny ignites a finger and torches the spider. 

“ _ My couch _ ,” Peter hisses.

“Your couch is fine. The spider is not.” With a grin, Johnny bows. “You're welcome.”

Peter finally drops to the floor and glances at the couch. (There isn't even a scorch mark. Johnny’s proud of himself, honestly.)

“Thanks,” Peter says, then immediately adds, “You're never ever going to mention this again.”

“What, that Spiderman is afraid of spiders?”

“...Yes.”

“‘Course not.”

“Good.”

“At least not to anyone else.”

Peter throws a couch cushion at him.  


**Author's Note:**

> hopefully, this won't be the last you see of me in this pairing (bc they're so cute I could cry)


End file.
